Auld Lange Syne
by River Laren
Summary: Some goodbyes are harder than others.


"Sarada!"

The yell makes her drop the sheet she was hanging on the clothesline. True to his nickname, Boruto bolts into the backyard. She opens her mouth to question the blonde boy, but before she can, he's dragging her behind him. "C'mon, Sarada, hurry!"

"Boruto?" She asks softly as she stumbles along behind him. "What's wrong?" If this is about something stupid so help her-

But her teammate flashes her a pained glance that freezes her heart. Otherwise, he remains silent and Sarada finds herself too scared to ask more questions.

Boruto takes her to the hospital, where she shoves him aside to see what's going on through the tiny window in the operating room's door. Unexpectedly, she finds her mother bent over her father, hands glowing and tears in her matching green eyes. Sarada's heart drops from her stomach to her feet. Almost without her realization, her sharingan activates. Now, she can lip read.

"Hold on, Sasuke," her mother pleads. Her father doesn't seem to respond.

Sarada watches, not even daring to breathe, as her mother works to pull her father from the brink. Only a moment later, Tsunade straightens beside her mother, and Sarada notices her for the first time.

"Sakura," the fifth Hokage says, "Sakura, he's gone."

A cry rips it's way from her throat at the same time she sees her mother shake her head in denial. "No, no just one second and-"

Before she can see the sanin's response, Sarada has burst through the door to stand at the end of her father's bed. Lying there, he looks unnaturally pale, even for him. Blood has saturated his clothes and pooled on the metal table; even despite her mother's healing she can still see deep wounds. He's completely broken physically in this moment and it freezes her blood. But the most haunting of all is his eyes. They're truly empty now, blank and glazed over.

That's when, despite her mother's cries of "No, no, no!" as she struggles against Tsundade, Sarada knows. Dad's gone. He's never coming back.

"Sakura." Tsunade says with enough force that her mother stills.

When her father says her mother's name, just her name, his deep voice lowers a bit more, his tone fills with promise and love and apology and a thousand other things that words couldn't convey alone. Sarada has never heard her father tell her mother he loves her, but when he says Mom's name like that she knows that's what he means. But when Tsunade says her mother's name now, the emphasis it's not her father's voice or the tone he uses-used-and she'll never hear that again is overwhelming.

It's not an illusion; he's really dead. Gone. ...Forever. She breaks down then and flings herself at her father, crying into his neck. Her eyes feel like they're on fire.

Sarada was at the top of her class at the academy, she knows what makes a good shinobi is sacrifice. Sacrifice of time, emotions, family, normalcy, even life. A good shinobi gives it up when the village requires it. And her father, he was the best shinobi. He gave it all without protest, in the end.

Growing up, after finally meeting him, their relationship was full of next times. Really, those next times were opportunities sacrificed along with everything else for the village. There never was a now. Sarada wonders what all those next times were actually worth as she sobs over her father's body. Because there will never be a now, now. They put it off too long.

Though, she's just as guilty as he was. Before he left, they fought. It was a stupid fight over when he would teach her how to fight like an Uchiha-with the sharingan and susanoo. It had escalated quickly, of course. She'd said some things intentionally to hurt him then, like how embarrassed of him she was. How she wished her father was anyone else. Honestly, she hadn't really meant any of it. But she sulked instead of seeing him off; thinking she could apologize later. _She didn't even say goodbye to him._ The memory of it is bitter in her throat and nauseating in her stomach. She is paralyzed with guilt and grief, and the Seventh has to pull her from her father's stiffened body hours later.

She sees the Lord Seventh's tears and everyone else's as he hands her off to her teammates. Boruto is crying openly with her as the three of them stumble down the street. Stubbornly, he refuses to acknowledge it though, so his nose has started to run. It's Mitsuki who looks at her closely, frowns, and whispers, "Your eyes." Sarada stares at him blankly through her puffy eyes until she realizes she forgot to deactivate her sharingan.

They insist she stay at the Uzumaki's tonight. After her mom's reaction earlier, Tsundae has sedated her and kept her at the hospital where she can be watched for a day or two. During her stay, Sarada lies in Boruto's bed and stares at the ceiling. He says nothing, and doesn't even complain about sleeping on the couch. At meal times, his mom brings her food which she ignores, but in the middle of the night when Sarada can't silence the sobs, Hinata comes back and holds her while she cries.

"I-I'm sorry, I-I just c-can't-" Sarada hiccups.

"Shh," Hinata whispers, "never be sorry for your tears, they show just how much someone means to you."

"I can't believe he's g-gone."

"I know," Hinata says softly, stroking her hair, "I know."

By the third day, Sarada has reached a state of numbness. Mechanically, she goes to the hospital to pick up her mother. Thankfully, Uchiha Sakura is looking stronger this morning. But, Sarada sees, she's still shocked and grieving.

"Your mom needs you now," Shizune tells her while her mom is signing paperwork for Tsunade. "Can you be there for her?" Sarada nods, but it's a lie. She has nothing in her left to give, even if her mother does need it. She wonders if either of them will be the same after this. Never before has she seen Mom so weak. She just stares out the window in their living room in the final days before the funeral. Ironically, Sarada misses her mother's fiery temper the most, because it meant she cared about things. It meant she was the one being strong for the both of them.

The Sixth comes by. "Just checking up," is his excuse. But when he catches Sarada's arm as she walks him to the door and pulls her out with him, she knows he has another motive. He studies her intently before stating: "I heard you unlocked the Mangekyo."

Sarada's eyes widen. "How could I?"

Kakashi shrugs. "That doesn't matter now. The point is whether or not it's true."

He instructs her in purposely unlocking her advanced ability, and Sarada closes her eyes and gives it a try. A moment later when she opens her eyes, she knows it is true. The sharp intake of breath from the old man before her confirms it.

"Tell no one," he orders. "We'll discuss this further after the funeral." And he disappears.

Two days of listlessness, guilt, and grief later, the village buries Uchiha Sasuke. Or rather, his family and the rookie nine do. A few others come: Lee, Tenten, team Taka, Orochimaru and Mitsuki, and of course everyone's children. The sixth Hokage comes, and he isn't late for once. A couple strangers Sarada doesn't know that her father helped long ago. Surprisingly, the kages attend. But the villagers go about their business as normal, as if a man did not just die to protect them.

Her mom is pleased with the turnout, with the old friends who come to pay their respects. Sarada watches as a small spark of life flickers inside her mother. Making small talk with these friends and comrades encourages the new widow.

Secretly, Sarada is angry. Her father is a hero, and he deserves a hero's recognition. But he'll be buried today and his name recorded in some dusty scroll somewhere and the village will pretend he didn't exist until they can properly forget the avenger who made their lives uncomfortable by calling into question the morality of their former hokages. Sarada heard enough in the Uzumaki household the night she stayed over to know her father died defending the village like a hokage. Yet, while the Hokage's death would warrant village-wide mourning, they barely notice her father's-the man who spent over twelve years away from his family to protect the world. She's struck by the unfairness of it all, and she hates these stupid villagers for it.

Sugetsu, the man who once mistakenly told her her mother was Karin, approaches her after the ceremony. She doesn't want to talk (she now hates his guts for his mistake), but the Kazekage is coming at her from the right and Lee from the left, so she decides her father's old teammate is the lesser of the three evils.

"What do you want?" She demands once he gets close.

He blinks, then smirks. "Definitely Sasuke's kid. At least you could never get confused there."

She glares at him.

"Um. Well, I feel like there's something I have to tell you now, something that he'd want you to know." Suigetsu looks down. "Then I can stop feeling so guilty, maybe."

Sarada studies him. "What is it?"

"Not here."

They end up on the heads of the Hokage monument, one of her dad's favorite places.

"Did your father tell you the about the curse of the Uchiha clan?"

She shakes her head. "There's a curse on our clan?"

"Kinda." Suigetsu sighs. "Look, when your father talked to the edo Hokage during the war, I was there. They told him some things about the Uchiha you need to know. I guess he was waiting to tell you when you were older. The sharingan is actually a response to severe loss and pain, because the Uchiha's curse is they love too much. They have to lock that away to an extent. Or they thought they did. But anyway, once they feel severe loss and pain, they gain the power of the sharingan. By feeling even more pain, they advance these powers. So you see, it's like this vicious cycle. And it tends to drive people crazy."

"So, what? You think I'm going to go crazy and become rouge like my father?" She demands defensively.

Suigetsu shrugs. "He lost his whole family in one night at the hand of his older brother, and then found out his older brother did it mostly to save him. His case was extreme, yours is more manageable. But you should be aware. That's the kind of information that needs to be passed down don't you think?"

Sarada frowns and nods, overwhelmed. She'd never known exactly what her father had been through. She had condemned him too much to consider it, and he hadn't talked about it.

The swordsman leaves, but she stays. Kakashi's revelation made her feel slightly uneasy at the time, but thinking of it now scares her. Before she knew it was a powerful and rare ability, but now she knows the darkness this weapon caries with it. And she knows what the resentment against the villagers lingering in her gut can become now. A small, dark part of her heart whispers that giving into that bitterness will mask the hate she feels for herself.

It's ironic really. She finally understands why her father did what he did, but it's too late. And she realizes how much she really did love and admire him, and how much she is like him. She'll miss his cryptic guidance. And his evasive answers. And his one armed hugs. And the way he'd say "I love you" without saying it. And of course the forehead pokes.

As the sun starts it's decent in the sky, Sarada pulls her knees up to her chest and tries very hard not to feel small, lonely, and lost. A tear slips out, and she loses the battle.

"Sarada!"

She jumps again, and she hates the fact that Boruto simply calling her name reminds her of death and pain, because it makes her want to avoid him.

"Hey, it's getting dark and everyone's looking for you..." He trails off. He must see the tear tracks. "I, um, I guess you need a minute...I'll j-"

"They don't deserve his sacrifice." She blurts it out because she has to tell someone and somehow she knows she can trust this loser.

Behind her, he pauses. "Sarada?" he asks softly.

"The villagers. They don't even care he died for them. He's still just a traitor even though he gave up everything to protect them! My dad was a hero! And no one treated him like one! ...I didn't even treat him like one." Her eyes fill up again and she blinks furiously, not wanting her stupid teammate to see.

"What do you mean? Of course you did-" Boruto sits down beside her.

"No, I didn't. We had a fight before he left-I didn't even say goodbye. I didn't even tell him I loved him!" Boruto wraps an arm around her.

"Sarada." She looks up, startled. She knows that voice, one she never thought she'd hear again.

"D-dad?!"

"I know you love me. And you know I love you. I will always be with you in your heart...and here," he pokes her forehead "in your memories." The tears are streaming down her face. By now she has figured out Boruto has hinged her father for her, just so she can say goodbye. And it's so _him_ because she _needs_ this, needs this so much, and somehow he knows and he's giving it to her without a word.

"I love you, Dad," she whispers hoarsely and hugs him fiercely. "You're the best shinobi I know; I want to be just like you when I grow up." She's not sure who she means then, her father or Boruto, but ether way, she would be a hero.

Her "father" laughs softly. "No, Sarada. Be just like you. You're why we fight you know."

She's not sure who he means by "we" but she nods against his shoulder. "Thank you. For everything."

"Sarada...thank you."

Boruto lets the hinge drop, but they stay like that for a long time, Sarada clinging to him and sobbing quietly into his shoulder. Finally, after the stars come out and the crickets stop she raises her head.

"Thank you, Boruto. Thank you so much."

He stands and puts his hands in his pockets. "No problem," he shrugs. They walk back to her house together.

Sarada returns to training after a few days, but her heart's not in it. Her mother is doing better, but she's still listless at times. And then there are the stories; the ones Sarada always wanted to hear but isn't ready to cope with now. Little things set Sakura off, and the stories spill out like she's reliving them. One morning cooking breakfast she leans over Sarada to put something on the table, touching her head out of habit.

"Your father had hair just like yours you know. He was so shocked by your head of hair when you were born." Sarada can tell by the glassy look in her eye that Mom has gotten lost in the past. "We were on a mission, and I refused to leave him and return to Konoha when I found out about you. He was so furious. He made sure I didn't leave the base. I think the only reason he let me stay at all was because Karin was there to deliver you. Anyway, you should have seen the look on his face when he held you the first time. He was enraptured. I don't think I've ever seen him so happy or in awe. And I've known him a long time. But your hair was so thick it would get static electricity so bad in the tunnels. It was almost always on end and it would shock whoever picked you up. Suigetsu said it was possessed once. I'm not sure what Sasuke did to him, but he never did it again."

It makes it harder to move on, in some ways, when her mother tells her all these stories like her father is just away for a long time and he'll be back because he always comes back to them. She complains about it to her team one day. Boruto remains silent. Mitsuki simply says, "Be thankful you are able to hear the stories now. Memories are all we have left of the ones we love who have died." Sarada doesn't complain again.

It takes months, but eventually Sarada comes to accept her father's death. Boruto is mostly to thank for this. Not just for the opportunity to say goodbye, but for the sparring sessions that let her take out her frustrations on him, listening to all the stories she repeats and sharing her father's memory. In Boruto, as Sasuke's former student, Sarada finds someone else who admired Sasuke, knew him, and misses him. Together, they find a way to preserve his memory in the new "normal" after his death. And, they spend a lot of time talking on top of the Hokage monument.

"Hey," Boruto says as he gets to his feet after another long hard day of being shinobi, "we should probably get back."

"Yeah, we should." Sarada stands up too, and waits for the blood to return to all her limbs. But something has been bothering her for awhile. "You know, whatever killed Dad is still out there. And if it could beat him..."

"I know. I've been thinking about that. It's kind of scary. But, my dad will defend the village with everything he's got, and then there's us. I figure that since you have both your Dad's powers and your Mom's, that makes you almost unstoppable. And I have pretty awesome powers from my parents too. Then Mitsuki's got his thing going on...anyway, the point is your Dad knew the village was safe with us, so he passed it on."

Sarada doesn't fully believe it. Death isn't so optional. But she allows herself a smile because part of her likes to imagine her father a peace before he passed. "You think so?"

Boruto grins. "That old man wouldn't give us charge of anything unless he thought we could handle it. You remember the rabbit, right?"

Sarada laughed. Her Dad had commandeered her pet rabbit because she wasn't taking proper care of it after she became chunin. He had proceeded to spoil the animal rotten. "Of course I do."

"Well there you go. The old geezer'd still be here as a ghost unless he thought we could handle this, so I'm not going to worry about being strong enough. Just kicking this mysterious enemy's butt; to make him proud."

"Hmph. I'm the Uchiha. I bet I'm the one who actually beats this thing."

"Hey!"

The next day she contracts with both the Fifth and the Sixth to train her. When they question her, she simply answers, "I'm my father's daughter. I defend this village; I must be unstoppable."

They train her. It's a grueling year, but she's as strong as a kage by the end of it. Boruto and Mitsuki have also been training intensely, and she knows in her heart they have become the new sanin of the village. So when they're finally called into battle, she knows they're ready to take up the mantle her father left to them. Before he jumps into the fray, Boruto catches her eye and points to his heart and his head. She nods. She knows her father's spirit is here with them. Pulling out her katana, she activates her Mangekyo.

"Thanks, Dad, for everything."

 **AN: I'm not sure where this came from. I'm sorry Sasuke died. While I'm very against that in canon, I envisioned Boruto impersonating Sasuke so Sarada could say goodbye and I knew I had to write this. It spiraled from there.**

 **I included Tsunade and Kakashi because Boruto the movie didn't make things clear on what happened with Kakashi and well, I was giving up Sasuke. So sue me. (You can't, I'm writing fanfiction for free whilst hiding behind a fake name so...)**


End file.
